As Michael's first birthday approaches, I have also been doing a lot thinking. Thoughts about how life now, & I'm not exaggerating, is completely different than it was last year. Actually, than it's ever been.
Sometimes I wonder why God blessed Rafael & I with Michael so early on in our marriage. More so, so early on in our lives. He was 25. I was 26. And even before we've accomplished the majority of what we considered our life goals. The more I thought about it though, the more it became clear. Michael has taught me what my life goals really are. He has taught me that my prior goals were selfish, self-absorbed, and are miniscule in the grand scheme of life. I haven't been more confident in the direction I want to take in my life as I am now. Here's what I mean:
-I wanted to have THE career because that meant more money, more prestige, a bigger house, and lifetime security. Now I think to myself, what an obnoxious life goal that was. A career is nothing more than a glamorous term for a job. Although my lifestyle has changed I have the most important jobs now, being a wife and a mother. And the pay and benefits of this outweighs anything I can imagine.
-I wanted to run a marathon. I trained for a marathon prior to becoming pregnant. I regretted that I had stop because I had come so far in my training. I did not follow through with it once Michael was born, because let's face it, my priority changed and I just did not have the time or energy to do so. After having Michael I realized that staying healthy was of more importance in the future of myself and my family. I felt so horrible for being so down on myself because I was pregnant.
-I wanted to become a world traveler. It's much harder to travel with a soon-to-be toddler. Finances are tighter. Time is limited. And patience, oh patience, is much better utilized when you're in the comfort of your own home. But I have now learned how to work with a smaller budget, manage time much better, and not sweat the small stuff, like everything going along with baby-friendly travel. I'm also a much more knowledgeable parent.
We took our first family vacation to Oregon in June, basically paid for by accumulated rewards points and Craigslist reselling. Prior to Michael, I would never think of enjoying a place like Oregon. It was close to California, not exotic, and let's face it, who do you know that says, "I really want to visit Oregon!"? Being with Michael has made me appreciate what lovely places we as a family can travel to, within a budget & as our time permits. We enjoyed a problem free few days. I can't wait to explore more new places.
These are just to name a few.
It pains me to hear parents start a sentence of with "If we didn't have kids so soon, then I could've..." It strikes me as regret in the child's existence. I can only wonder what could be more important than a child's life to that parent.
I now see life through a different lens. I now see my goals as something not just for me but as something that will directly influence the well being of another.
My only goal now is to be a good person, a better person.
And Michael will never be a roadblock to my dreams rather more of a push to achieve my real one.
I'm linking up today via The Wiegand's. Have a great Labor Day!
~Kristina
